Self-Compassion as a Tool in the Creative Process
Practicing self-compassion as a creator and entrepreneur is truly a game-changer. Creativity and business are vulnerable and challenging work, which is why self-compassion is an essential tool in my creativity coaching.
Most creatives have an inner battle every time they create. Thanks to creatives like Elizabeth Gilbert, Brené Brown, Austin Kleon, Alex Mathers, and many more, we talk more openly about what it's really like to live a creative life and not the social media version.
What is self-compassion?
Kristen Neff studies and teaches self-compassion. She has written a fantastic book and done a TEDTalk about self-compassion, and this is her definition:
Self-kindness vs. self-judgment (self-kindness takes the form of active self-soothing)
Common humanity vs isolation (we are all human, imperfect and suffering. Imperfection unites us, it doesn't isolate us.)
Mindfulness (courageous presence) vs over-identifying. (Mindfulness: the ability to pay attention to what is happening in the present moment, as it's happening.)
It’s when you’re mindful about having a negative feeling you can show yourself compassion. Instead of going into "fix it mode" when you experience struggle, acknowledge the moment and show yourself compassion.
“Compassion is the heart’s response to any negative emotional experience. All hurt matters! How we respond to the “small moments” matters.
Self-compassion is treating yourself like someone you care about, with support, encouragement, and warmth.
Self-compassion is one of the biggest sources of strength and resilience that we have available to us”
Why self-compassion is an essential tool in creativity and business
Things go wrong in business, don’t they? No one signs up for your course, clients are few and far between, money isn’t coming in and everyone else seems to be living the “laptop lifestyle”. I know the feeling. We’re all there or have been there. It’s hard as heck.
And that blog post, course, book, painting …. why is it so difficult to do?
Yeah, this ain’t Insta life, my friend, this is real life, and it’s sodding hard sometimes. That’s why you need self-compassion in your toolbox.
When you struggle, make mistakes, fail, or feel negative or frustrated, this is exactly when you show yourself compassion. We all struggle, it’s what we share as people.
The effect of practicing self-compassion is profound, according to Kristen Neff’s studies.
We become more creative, more resilient, kinder, braver, and overall more healthy. It’s powerful research.
As it turns out, pushing yourself harder, relying on self-discipline, and being critical makes you less creative, and less successful. But having your own back when you mess up, being kind to yourself when you fail, and treating yourself as your best friend when you feel overwhelmed and in struggle, make you more creative, more successful, and generally in better health.
Along with learning the kaizen philosophy of taking small steps, self-compassion has had the biggest effect on my personal and professional life. It’s an absolute game-changer.
If you want to learn more, these 2 ladies are my faves: Kristen Neff and Kelly McGonigal
How to begin practicing self-compassion
Being compassionate to yourself is the alternative to being self-critical when stuff goes wrong. If you have a long history of being hard on yourself - join the club - I recommend you find one or two things you can quickly do, that’ll make you feel better.
Example of self-compassion:
Have a phrase ready you say to yourself when you feel bad.
”That’s ok (your name), you’re a good person, and you tried. I got your back..”
“You are so loved. Never mind. What you do is not who you are”.
You can make up your own little saying that feels comforting to you.
Self-soothe
Kristen Neff talks about self-soothing as having a calming effect on us. Hugging yourself, or gently rubbing your arm or hand, which you can do so no one can see it.
Writing kind words to yourself in a journal.
Journalling is my go-to self-compassionate practice. As soon as something happens, or is about to happen, I get my journal out. It is sooo helpful.
I do truly hope you’ll give self-compassion a go. It will make such a difference to you.
If you want help with implementing self-compassion in your creative- or business process.
Self-love and compassion are pillars of my creativity coaching. I help creators and entrepreneurs build inspiring and effective processes for how they create and do business. Check out my creativity coaching page for more info.
